Makarov and Petersen No. 3 (Malgil)

Makarov: This book here is about our desires and how to fulfill them. Read this book and you will understand the whole fuss about desire. You will also understand how easy it is to fulfill someone else’s desire and how hard it is to fulfill your own.


Petersen: You talk way too serious. You sound like an Indian leader.


Makarov: This book deserves to be spoken of with eminence. I take my hat off when I think about this book.


Petersen: Do you wash your hands right before you touch it?


Makarov: Yes, the hands must be washed.


Petersen: Do you think feet must be washed too?
Makarov: This is not funny but rude.


Petersen: So what is this book called?


Makarov: This book has a mysterious name…


Petersen: He-he-he!


Makarov: This book is called MALGIL.


(Petersen disappears
)


Makarov: Oh my God! What is this? Petersen!


Petersen’s voice: What happened? Makarov! Where am I?


Makarov: Where are you? I don’t see you!


Petersen’s voice: And where are you? I don’t see you either!.. What are these spheres?


Makarov: What shall I do? Petersen, do you hear me?


Petersen’s voice: I hear you! But what happened? And what are these spheres?


Makarov: Can you move?


Petersen’s voice: Makarov! Do you see these spheres?


Makarov: What spheres?


Petersen’s voice: Let me go!.. Let me go!.. Makarov!..


(Silence. Makarov stands terrified, than grabs the book and opens it).


Makarov (reads): “…Gradually, the man losses his shape and becomes a sphere. After he becomes a sphere, man losses all of his desires.”


(Curtains)

Daniil Kharms – 1934